you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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