Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We are all done wearing pants today
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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