Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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