hotel room ftw
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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