Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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