I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize