i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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