And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
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You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
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You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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