dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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