somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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