just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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