I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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