this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize