we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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