I just pynch a tree in the face
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
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Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
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Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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