i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Randomize