I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize