i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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