Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize