how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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