is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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