Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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