Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Randomize