I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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