Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize