We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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