i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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