My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
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I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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