Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
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It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
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This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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