I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize