I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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