So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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