I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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