It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
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Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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