You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
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i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
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I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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