don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
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Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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