Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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