i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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