we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize