we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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