The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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