tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
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