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He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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