She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
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the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
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Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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