we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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