Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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