i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize