Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
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boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
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Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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