I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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