If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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